What Women Over 50 Should Wear…?
April, 2024
After scrolling through yet another “What Women Over 50 Should Wear to Make Them Not Look Like They Are Over 50” type essay written by someone who is not over 24, it occurred to me that I was the intended audience of this deep dive exploration of fashion that is supposed to make my neck look younger. This led me to a few questions, such as who makes these rules? Is there a committee? Do the 20-somethings writing these think-pieces realize their target audience is the very group that taught them how to put on underpants without getting both legs stuck in one hole? When did they decide to be the boss of what women over 50 should dress like? Do they not get the fact that they are buying into the culture of “women are not capable of deciding what’s right for them” vibe? (And when, by the way, did I become someone over 50?!)
I have never been a “clothes confident” kinda gal. I NEVER know what to wear. I view dressing myself the same way in which I use my microwave: I throw something in there, press a few buttons, and hope for the best. I don’t have a vision for how anything is going to turn out. Seriously, I have no knack for this stuff. In my youth and young adulthood, I looked to (and at) my peers to see what I was supposed to do. I was never deciding what to wear as much as deciding who to be. And that’s perfectly fine; there are huge chunks of our lives that are meant for that, meant just for figuring out who we are. Was I smart Missy? Sophisticated Missy? Playful Missy? Slutty Missy? Fancy lady Missy? The answer usually depended on the day, on what someone I admired was wearing, or whether or not there was a funeral or job interview involved.
Now, as a fully grown 50-something lady, I am the target audience for articles telling me how to “not make the 10 biggest mistakes in skirt lengths that make you look older” and to “avoid mistakes that older women are making in their pant choices” and “here’s how to pick a shirt that makes your face look youthful.” There is a fundamental problem with this advice: It’s not my shirt that interferes with my face looking young- it’s my actual face. My 56 year old face can look a lot of things, but young is not one of them. No shirt can change that, and that’s fine with me. See, what I wear these days has absolutely nothing to do with what someone writing an online article thinks someone my age looks best in. Do I want to look good? Sure! Do I want to be comfortable? Absolutely! Do I want to look younger? Nope. I just want to pick out stuff that brings me joy and doesn’t hurt when I sit.
And you know what else? My heart aches for the sweet 20-something’s writing these pieces. They are putting so much of their energy into thinking that holding onto youth is paramount, that clothing choices are to be restricted by certain age requirements. I have spent soooo much of my own life shedding the soul-sucking expectations women have contended with regarding their appearances, trying to instill a strong sense of self and confidence in not only my own daughter, but in all the young women I’ve ever known. They need not be afraid of a face that’s no longer young; they need to fear not feeling good in whatever sparkly pants they choose. And that goes for you too, my friend. I promise you, your neck looks fine in that shirt.